Is It Possible to Move on Without Getting Closure After an Abusive Relationship?

Is It Possible to Move on Without Getting Closure After an Abusive Relationship? is it possible to move on without getting closure after an abusive relationship?

When it comes to moving on from any past relationship, the idea of closure is often a crucial step in the process. Closure is typically seen as a means to attain a sense of finality, an assurance that the relationship is definitively over, and a way to regain control over one’s life. In more normal, healthy relationships, seeking closure through a final conversation or resolution can be a valuable step towards emotional healing. In some cases, you might find yourselves parting ways on friendly terms, wishing each other well on your respective journeys. Alternatively, you may choose to stop communication altogether, yet without harboring deep-seated resentment or fear of retaliation. Instead, you come to understand that the lack of communication is, in itself, the closure you need.

However, when it comes to abusive relationships, that’s rarely the case. Your abusive ex will hardly provide any sort of closure for a number of reasons, such as punishment or keeping you around as a backup supply. When they do at times offer closure, it will be vague and carry some hidden agenda, making it unconvincing. It won’t be the kind of closure that enables you to move on well; instead, it may be closure talk that leaves you feeling worthless or watching over your back. So, you may start chasing that real closure from them because you think it’s necessary for you to move on. But is it really necessary to obtain clear closure to move on from an abuser?

The answer is no; you do not need any form of closure from them to move on from the relationship. You already have closure, and that closure comes from the fact that you know they are abusive, and they should stay away from you as far as possible. Closure in an abusive relationship should not come from a closure talk but from your understanding that someone’s inability to change their abusive behaviors is the necessary element for you to move on and heal. A closure talk may offer relief, I understand, but the greatest relief is you walking away, minimizing contact, and healing the wounds they’ve inflicted in your life. Closure is you taking back your power and working on those negative beliefs you have about yourself, and reconnecting with who you are at the core of your being. The closure is within, not with them.


In conclusion, you move on not by getting closure from them but by healing the damage and working on your insides. You move on by processing those negativities you’ve picked up from your past relationships. The current you who wants closure is a you with low self-esteem or a poor self-image — a you who still needs constant validation from others. But the true you just wants to stay as far away as possible and knows that no closure from them will fill the inner feelings of despair and discomfort. To satisfy that thirst, we must liberate ourselves from the weight of past traumas and negative self-perceptions. As we do so, we clear away the thickets and obstacles that have hidden the sparkling diamond beyond the dense bush of our past hurts and traumas.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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