Illusion of External Love: Can Someone Else Truly Love You Till Your Deep Wounds Heal?

Illusion of External Love: Can Someone Else Truly Love You Till Your Deep Wounds Heal? illusion of external love: can someone else truly love you till your deep wounds heal?
Photo by Michael Fenton on Unsplash

Today, I’ll be answering the question of whether you can find someone who can really, really love you to the point that you feel this is it. I’m referring to instances where you may feel that the only way to heal or overcome those abandonment wounds is to find someone who truly loves you. Perhaps you’ve concluded that you weren’t loved enough as a child, which is sometimes a normal thing, but you may have solidified this belief. You might think that the key to overcoming the pain deep inside is for someone to love you unconditionally — someone who treats you well, takes you on vacations, and fulfills your every desire.

Is it really possible for someone else’s love to erase the pain you feel deep inside? Your mind might lead you to believe so, convincing you that once you find the perfect partner, everything will be okay. You start thinking that you don’t need anything else in life and may even express on forums that good men or women are rare, making you feel that finding this rare person will bring contentment to your life.

Let me break it to you: No one can love you to the point where you truly feel good about yourself or genuinely loved. Even if you find a seemingly ‘perfect’ person, the root issue lies in your own lack of self-love. It doesn’t matter what this person does or says; you won’t truly believe it, and you’ll still seek validation elsewhere.

That intense desire for a relationship itself reveals a deeper void within. You’re not lacking love from others; you’re not even loving yourself or feeling worthy of your own love. No external source, no matter how perfect, can fill that void. It’s crucial to understand that nothing outside of you will save you; it’s about saving yourself.

Remember the beginning of an abusive relationship, where everything seemed perfect? Similarly, you think that something external will save you, but in reality, nothing will. Dealing with your negative beliefs about yourself, feeling unworthy of love and care, is the key. External validation, approval, or admiration won’t fill the emptiness inside. It’s your responsibility to address your issues.

Once you deal with your own struggles, you’ll realize that you can share your life with someone, but it’s not a necessity. When something feels like a must, it’s likely because you’re avoiding something within yourself. No one else can give you everything you want; the only person who can provide that is yourself. The more you set expectations on external sources, the more you live a life of waiting and waste precious time chasing an illusion.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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