How to Support A Friend Who Won’t Take Your Advice of Leaving an Abusive Relationship

How to Support A Friend Who Won’t Take Your Advice of Leaving an Abusive Relationship how to support a friend who won’t take your advice of leaving an abusive relationship
Photo by youssef naddam on Unsplash

Today, I’ll be addressing the question of why friends might not listen to your advice, especially when it comes to toxic or abusive relationships.

Imagine a situation where you see a friend or sibling in an abusive relationship, and you logically advise them to leave. However, they seem resistant, and you start feeling frustrated that they’re not heeding your advice. The key here is to understand that your advice might not be as helpful as you think.

When you tell someone to leave an abusive situation, you may believe that you’re offering support, but it often doesn’t work that way. In fact, your advice might make things worse and it mostly does. People who are stuck in negative patterns, especially in abusive relationships, have become accustomed to that dynamic on a deeper level. When you challenge that pattern by telling them to leave, they might perceive it as you not understanding them or you’re not understanding their situation which is, of course, true.

Consider it this way: if someone asked you to suddenly change your name, something you’ve been calling yourself for a long time, you’d likely resist. It’s a challenge to something you’re accustomed to. Similarly, people in toxic relationships have become accustomed to that negativity, and your advice might be seen as a challenge, leading them to push you away. Any challenge to a status quo will always be met with resistance.

Your friends may not be listening to your advice because, on a subconscious level, they’ve grown used to the negative pattern. They might have deep-seated beliefs about marriage, or they may hold negative beliefs about themselves. Your logical advice may not be penetrating these deeper levels of their thinking.

Listen More

In such situations, the best thing to do is to listen. Instead of offering advice, just be there for them and lend a supportive ear. The hardest but most impactful thing you can do is to listen without judgment. Suggesting professional help might also be beneficial because professionals can navigate the complexities of the negative thought patterns more effectively.

Getting angry at your friends for not listening to your advice adds more negative emotions to their already complex situation. It makes them feel like they’re disappointing you, adding another layer of blame to their existing burdens. Stepping back and recognizing that, from their perspective, they believe they’re doing what’s best for them is crucial.

Sometimes, your advice may not make things better, and it might even isolate them further. Compassion and understanding are key. Instead of pushing advice, offer your support and let them know you’re there for them. This compassionate approach is more likely to be beneficial in the long run. Remember, your advice might only scratch the surface, and sometimes it’s better to listen than to impose solutions.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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