How To Quiet Those Voices in Your Head After Leaving an Abusive Relationship?

How To Quiet Those Voices in Your Head After Leaving an Abusive Relationship? how to quiet those voices in your head after leaving an abusive relationship?
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

When you’ve left a toxic relationship, one thing that will definitely linger in your head is hearing harsh, critical voices. The abuser might be gone, but there are still some voices in your head that are up to no good. They keep getting louder and louder, even paralyzing you from living your life or pursuing the things you’d like to achieve in your present life away from your tormentor. These voices often come from those people who have shaped or influenced your life, whether they are friends, siblings, your ex, or even your children.

You might hear them saying: –

· “You’re worthless and unlovable.”

· “No one will ever want you.”

· “You’ll never amount to anything without me.”

· “You’re selfish for doing that”

Those mean whispers just won’t stop, fuelled by all the messed-up ideas about yourself from that toxic relationship you just left or your past other relationships It’s like having your very own ex living rent-free in your head, continuing to poison your sense of self-worth from the inside. No wonder you’re feeling so anxious, sad, and not sure what to do next. That voice in your head is really loud and mean.

The other thing is, they normally get louder and louder when you try to do something totally out of your comfort zone, like taking care of yourself, seeking therapy, pursuing your hobbies, studying, or just anything outside the norm. The voices won’t really allow you to get out of that familiar space, and at times, you may shy away from your heartfelt desires just because you feel like you’re betraying those voices and terrible things will happen if you don’t listen.

The Listener is The Solution

To stop those voices from crippling you or affecting your present moment, we’ve got to focus on the listener. The listener holds the solution and the on/off button. Those voices have moulded your inner belief system, and that’s what echoes them and amplifies the strength of the voices — it’s because you believe them.

Those mean voices have gotten so strong because you’ve been believing and agreeing with the bad things they say for a long time. They didn’t just pop up out of nowhere one day — you’ve been listening to them and believing them without even realizing it. You’ve internalized those voices and you even thought, that’s just who you are.

Consider this: if you had no insecurities about your worth, how much power would that belittling “you’re worthless” voice really have? Those degrading echoes only feel overwhelming because they’re tied to deeply ingrained negative beliefs you’ve given too much importance to in shaping how you see yourself. The voices are just a result of this, not the main problem.

That’s why simply repeating “positive self-talk” won’t permanently silence that loud inner bully — you’re only treating the symptoms, not the root cause. To truly get rid of those troubling thoughts, you need to dig deep and clear those twisted beliefs that allowed them to settle in your mind in the first place.

We’re talking about going deep into the core beliefs that provide a soft and fertile landing for these voices. By challenging and clearing those subconscious beliefs, the power of the belittling self-talk will greatly diminish. That’s the inner work necessary to quiet those voices, and you have the choice of where you really want to focus your energies: working on your inner belief system or battling with voices in your head that don’t seem to quiet down.”

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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