How Do You Stop Obsessively Thinking About Your Abusive Ex?

How Do You Stop Obsessively Thinking About Your Abusive Ex? how do you stop obsessively thinking about your abusive ex?
Photo by Maria Teneva on Unsplash

Today I’ll be answering the question of why you can’t stop thinking about your ex. Actually, the answer to this is very simple — because you want to stop thinking about them. When you actively try to stop thinking about your ex, you end up thinking about them even more.

Let’s say your ex is named John, and you want to stop thinking about him. Throughout your day, you focus so much on not thinking about John that he becomes the central focus. Whether you’re trying to will yourself not to think about him or looking for distractions like finding another relationship or watching a movie, you are still reacting to the thought of John, which means you are still thinking about them.

Attempting to erase the memory of someone is not a practical solution. Memory is a natural aspect of being human, and you can’t simply forget about someone like you forget what you ate last week. Memories come and go, and some memories may not bother you at all.

So, rather than trying to forcefully stop thinking about your ex, it’s more productive to understand that healing doesn’t mean erasing your memory. It’s about coming to terms with your past and recognizing that it doesn’t have to define you. The past, including memories, emotions, and experiences, shouldn’t limit your present choices.

If you’ve had a challenging relationship, acknowledge it, learn from it, and grow. Instead of seeing it as a limitation, view it as a lesson. Recognize how you’ve evolved from the experience, such as establishing healthier boundaries. The key is not to forget but to disidentify with the past so that it doesn’t control your present actions.

Focus on living in the present moment without letting past experiences tie you down. Don’t obsess over trying to stop thinking about your ex; instead, work on releasing and letting go of the things that anchor you to the past. Life is happening now, and you have the power to shape your present and future without being limited by the past.

Hope that makes sense, guys. Don’t fixate on stopping thoughts but on living freely in the present.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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