How Do You Get Over the Guilt of Leaving an Abusive Relationship?

How Do You Get Over the Guilt of Leaving an Abusive Relationship? how do you get over the guilt of leaving an abusive relationship?
Photo by Jacqueline Day on Unsplash

Today I’ll be answering the question of how to get over the guilt of leaving an abusive relationship. What does it mean to feel guilty? To feel guilty is to think that you did something bad, like leaving the relationship or upsetting your family by doing so. After all the struggles of wedding negotiations, traditions, and customary laws, and upsetting your mutual friends, your in-laws and kids in the process, you may genuinely feel bad about having done something wrong by leaving that relationship or seeking a divorce.

Actually, it’s very normal to feel guilty, especially when leaving something that has been conditioned as a good thing or something one is not supposed to leave. We often associate the success of a relationship with the passage of time, seeing articles about couples who have been together for 40 years as a sign of a happy life. Breaking out of this conditioning can make you feel guilty for not adhering to these societal norms.

However, this guilt should not bother you too much, as it is not inherently a bad thing. The guilt you feel indicates a disconnect somewhere. How can leaving something that is harmful, where you almost lost your life and everything else, make you feel bad? It suggests a lack of understanding of yourself. While feeling guilty is normal, it shows there’s a disconnect between how you view yourself. If you see yourself as deserving of good things and self-care, you’ll recognize leaving that relationship was a good decision.

So, it’s okay to feel guilty, but once you find yourself, you’ll realize that leaving was the best decision for yourself. The success of a relationship is not solely determined by the passage of time; rather, it hinges on how you are treated. You could stay in a relationship for 40 years, but if you are being treated poorly, the duration becomes unimportant. On the other hand, when you spending only 2 years in a relationship it can be fulfilling and successful if you are treated well. The key lies in the quality of treatment rather than the length of time invested. The guilt and feeling bad are normal because of societal conditioning and manipulation within the relationship, where you may have taken responsibility for your partner’s shortcomings or mental health. It’s normal to feel this way due to conditioning, but it’s essential not to beat yourself up or think you made the wrong decision. You made the right decision by reclaiming yourself. Find yourself, and you’ll realize that all along, you made the right decision for yourself and for future generations.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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