How a Toxic Person Breaks your Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem?

How a Toxic Person Breaks your Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem? how a toxic person breaks your self-confidence and self-esteem?
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In life, we will meet different people with various traits. Some traits can uplift us, while others can bring us down and make us lose confidence in ourselves. When we have interactions with someone who consistently shows toxic or harmful behavior, whether it’s at work, in relationships, friendships, or with family members, their actions can damage our self-confidence. The more we deal with them, the worse we may feel about ourselves.

In this article, we will discuss how a toxic person can harm our self-confidence, so we can better handle such situations or avoid unnecessary conflicts with people who want to make us feel bad about ourselves, either directly or indirectly. Understanding their harmful tactics can help us protect and strengthen our self-confidence and sense of self when faced with toxic people.

1. Constant Criticism

When toxic individuals consistently criticize and belittle you, it can have a profound and damaging effect on your self-esteem. Their constant negative comments create a toxic environment that chips away at your confidence and self-worth. Over time, you may internalize their hurtful words, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. The relentless criticism can make you question your abilities and worth, leaving you feeling insecure and uncertain about yourself.

2. Undermining Achievements

Another way toxic people ruin your self-confidence is by undermining your achievements. Their dismissive attitude towards your accomplishments creates a sense of inadequacy, making you question your capabilities and worth. You will feel that regardless of what you achieve or do, you will never be enough. This behavior leads to feelings of frustration, self-doubt, and a diminishing belief in your own abilities, ultimately chipping away at your self-esteem and impacting your motivation to pursue further goals.

3. Comparison

When toxic individuals consistently compare us to others, it creates a sense of inadequacy and self-doubt. They utilize this harmful behavior to exert control and manipulate us, leading us to believe that we are never good enough.

They may compare you to your siblings in the case of family dynamics, to their exes in a romantic relationship, or to your colleagues in a workplace setting. When you’re constantly compared to others, you may lose your sense of self because you will always want to measure up to the person you’re being compared to.

This constant comparison erodes our self-confidence, leaving us feeling insecure and constantly striving to meet unrealistic standards set by others. The toxic person’s aim is to maintain power over us by undermining our self-worth and keeping us in a perpetual state of feeling inadequate.

4. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is indeed another insidious way through which a toxic person can significantly break down your self-confidence. They do this by systematically undermining your sense of reality and self-worth. When subjected to gaslighting, you begin to doubt your own perceptions, memories, and even your sanity, which naturally leads to a loss of confidence in your judgment and abilities. As you are constantly made to question your own reality, you become increasingly reliant on the toxic person for validation and approval, causing a gradual erosion of your sense of self and autonomy. The gaslighter’s manipulative tactics leave you feeling powerless and emotionally drained, with a deep sense of insecurity and self-doubt.

5. Total Disregard of Your Boundaries

When someone consistently ignores or violates your personal boundaries, it sends a message that your needs, feelings, and autonomy are not important or respected. This can lead to feelings of powerlessness, as you may feel like you have no control over your own life and decisions.

As a result, you may start to doubt your self-worth and value, believing that your boundaries are not worth defending or that your desires are not valid. The disregard of boundaries can also foster a sense of insecurity and vulnerability, as you may become hesitant to assert yourself and stand up for what you believe in, fearing negative consequences or rejection.

6. Projection

When a toxic person projects their insecurities onto you, they make you feel as if those negative beliefs and characteristics belong to you, rather than acknowledging and addressing them within themselves. This insidious behavior can be incredibly damaging to your self-confidence.

As you internalize their projections, you may start to believe that you are indeed the source of these negative qualities, leading to feelings of self-blame and inadequacy. The toxic person’s projection chips away at your self-esteem, making you doubt your worth and capabilities. You may find yourself constantly questioning your actions and decisions, feeling burdened by the false beliefs they have imposed upon you.


In conclusion, navigating relationships with toxic individuals can significantly impact our self-confidence, leaving us feeling emotionally drained and vulnerable. Recognizing the harmful behaviors and manipulation of toxic people is essential in protecting our emotional well-being and reclaiming our sense of self.

After leaving such a relationship, it is crucial to address the negative beliefs of low confidence that may have developed during that time. Engaging in self-reflection can aid in challenging and transforming these negative beliefs.

A life of high confidence is one characterized by self-assurance, assertiveness, and a deep understanding of one’s self-worth. It is a life where healthy boundaries are firmly set and respected, allowing for the cultivation of positive and fulfilling relationships.

With high confidence, we embrace our strengths, acknowledge our imperfections, and strive for personal growth and self-improvement. We approach challenges with resilience, knowing that we are capable of overcoming obstacles and setbacks. Overall, a life of high confidence is marked by a strong sense of self-love and acceptance, empowering us to live authentically and thrive in every aspect of our lives.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these subconscious patterns for good (in less than 2 months) using Mind Shifting, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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