Healing Journey: Avoiding Responsibby Wanting Others to Take Responsibility

Healing Journey: Avoiding Responsibby Wanting Others to Take Responsibility healing journey: avoiding responsibby wanting others to take responsibility
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

Have you ever been in a situation where you’re frustrated because someone refuses to take responsibility for their actions? It could be an ex, a sibling, or a friend. You just want them to own up to what they’ve done and change their behavior. Maybe they’ve lied to you, shown no remorse, or played manipulative games. You find yourself constantly pushing or nudging them to be accountable.

But have you ever realized that sometimes, by wanting someone else to be responsible, we’re also avoiding our own responsibility? Let’s look at it this way: You’re nudging someone or you want them to behave in a certain way, right? This person may not want to take responsibility, they may not even care, show remorse, or avoid responsibility altogether. So, why do you keep reminding them? That’s what often happens in unhealth relationships. By wanting the other party to be responsible, we’re also sidestepping our own responsibility.

If you find yourself constantly reminding someone to be responsible, it indicates that you’re not fully taking responsibility for your own actions and circumstances. You’re also overlooking the fact that you’ve been doing this for a long time. It angers and frustrates you, and you end up carrying a lot of emotional baggage due to their failure to take ownership of their actions. However, in doing so, you’re not acknowledging that you’re also not fully taking responsibility or ownership for protecting yourself from those who are treating you unfairly.

When we talk about responsibility, we often only consider it from the perspective of the person engaging in hurtful behaviors, but we fail to see it from our own perspective as well. We tend to focus solely on the ‘abusers’ as the ones not taking responsibility for their actions, but we overlook the fact that by waiting for them to change, we’re also neglecting to take control of our own well-being and safety. It’s not just a one-way street; we need to take responsibility for our own peace of mind and safety instead of relying solely on others to change.

You’re not accountable for the undesirable behavior exhibited by another person, but you do have control over how you respond to their actions, and that’s your responsibility. Your feelings, weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and emotions are all within your scope of control. These aspects are your responsibilities, and you have the ability to manage them.


The other person may not take responsibility, but we often become fixated on labeling narcissists as solely irresponsible for their actions. However, we also need to acknowledge that sometimes we ourselves fail to take full ownership of our actions. We may just take things half-heartedly simply because that is where the mind wants to keep you.

The mind often keeps you in a comfortable place where you feel somewhat ‘okay,’ and you may believe there’s nothing you need to change about yourself. Even if you recognize areas for improvement, like working on boundaries or addressing unhealthy relationship patterns, you may delay taking action until the other person takes full ownership of their actions. However, this may rarely or never happen, leaving you stuck in your present circumstances. This can lead to feelings of pain, sleepless nights, anger, resentment, sadness, betrayal, and insecurity.

But you can break free from this cycle by stopping the blame game and being honest with yourself about what you’re doing in the present moment to ease your pain or heal from the damage caused by the hurtful and irresponsible person. Until you take full responsibility and ownership of your healing journey, you’ll continue to believe that narcissists or abusers are the only ones who need to change, rather than acknowledging your own role. It’s easy to blame them or external circumstances, as they are the source of your trauma and negative emotions. However, by doing so, you’re delaying your journey to freedom from pain and getting trapped in a cycle of suffering.

No one can assume that responsibility for you; it’s something you must take on yourself by truly committing and setting intentions for your healing journey. It may sound harsh, but it’s the reality — you are solely responsible for yourself, how you feel, and the steps you take to improve. Being responsible doesn’t mean isolating yourself and refusing help; rather, it means giving everything you’ve got to make yourself better or simply letting go of what’s hindering you from being your true self.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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