Does Your ‘Tolerance’ to Abuse Go up The More You Stay in an unhealthy Relationship?

Does Your ‘Tolerance’ to Abuse Go up The More You Stay in an unhealthy Relationship? does your ‘tolerance’ to abuse go up the more you stay in an unhealthy relationship?
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Do you realize that as the relationship goes on or keeps going or kept going, you tolerate more and more kinds of abuse? What does it mean to have a high tolerance of abuse? Having a high tolerance for abuse means being able to endure or withstand abusive behavior without taking action to stop it or protect oneself

A toxic relationship often doesn’t start as abusive right away, but there are usually early signs or red flags that we may consciously or unconsciously ignore. It might begin with poor communication, avoidance of certain topics, or other behaviors that seem somewhat normal at first. We might let these behaviors slide, not questioning them much, and even making excuses for our partner’s actions. Instead of standing up for ourselves, we might normalize these behaviors, thinking that we just need to understand each other better or that relationships aren’t easy and we’re still learning about each other.

So, as you normalize the behavior, they also normalize it. When you tolerate small bits of behavior without questioning or reacting negatively, they continue doing it, thinking it’s not a problem. You might normalize it due to a fear of conflict, abandonment, or being alone. This normalization can escalate to the point where you start accepting outright emotional abuse, such as being called names or blamed for everything, and they start doing whatever they want.

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They benefit from their actions, and they can’t just stop overnight. The more they continue, the more they are rewarded. It’s unfortunate that all along, you’ve unconsiously been ‘grooming’ the other party to become more abusive. By tolerating their behavior, you’re enabling them and giving them space to continue. Now, because you’re used to the pain, you end up building some sort of wall to survive in that environment.

You build up this wall to shield yourself from the pain you’re feeling. As a result, your tolerance increases, and they notice because you have a barrier protecting you from them. They keep pushing those boundaries, and the abuse escalates, sometimes crossing into physically abusive territory. You might find yourself rationalizing it, saying they only mistreat you physically when they’re drunk or once a week. Reflecting on how you got there, you realize it all started with normalizing and letting things slide.

That’s why in a relationship, it’s important not to let things slide for too long because they’ll eventually catch up with you. Learn to stand up for yourself and set boundaries, or someone else will gradually push those boundaries until you’re just a shadow of yourself. When you understand and focus on yourself, you repel those who exploit others. But when you normalize or avoid conflict, you attract people who may intensify their hurtful behavior, even to the point of becoming physically violent. Don’t let your insecurities drive you to tolerate mistreatment because that only encourages them to assert dominance over you. Strive for zero tolerance for abuse, not tolerance that keeps you in an abusive environment.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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