Does No Contact Work When You Leave an Abusive Relationship?

Does No Contact Work When You Leave an Abusive Relationship? does no contact work when you leave an abusive relationship?
Photo by Taylor Grote on Unsplash

Today, I’d like to address the question of whether no contact really works when it comes to moving on from an abusive relationship. No contact, in this context, means completely cutting off communication with your abusive ex. You might implement this by blocking them on social media or on the phone, cutting off all mutual acquaintances, or simply refusing to communicate with them in any manner.

You may be doubting or thinking that it would be so cruel of you to just cut them off, and you may be asking yourself if it does work or if there’s another ‘better’ way. Actually, ‘No Contact’ does work. When you cut them off, you lessen the likelihood of going back to them, especially during the other stages of your life after leaving the relationship. When you’re still fresh from that discard or breakup, you might succumb to loneliness, to the feeling of missing them.

You may also be so susceptible to their games of deceit because they know how to manipulate you. Manipulative people have a way of making you fall for them, and if your ex was manipulative, they can still pull a card to win you back if they want to. So, with ‘no contact’, you will at least be keeping yourself safe from their ploys or from going back to them.

In those early stages, you’re still trauma bonded and you’re mostly operating you’re your tainted emotions and you’re not really thinking clearly. On a deeper level, you still feel powerless to their ploys, so where possible if you could physically distance yourself ro them, it will give you the time and space to find yourself and to understand your boundaries or those aspects within you that make you susceptible to people who are out there to harm you or to exploit others.

So, does this mean you’re doomed when you cannot go no contact with them? No, actually No contact is beneficial but it’s not equivalent to healing. You may physically cut them off but if you’re not going inwards and addressing those deep fears, you will still be in contact with your abusive ex on a deeper level. They also shaped your perceptions to reality or they’ve also made you believe something about yourself, like you don’t deserve a happy life or you cannot function without them.

So, without you working on transforming those disempowering beliefs you’ve picked up from your past relationships, you will still be tethered to them even when physically you’re detached from them. That’s why in cases where you cannot go no contact with them, like if you have kids together, do not really give in and believe that healing is not possible.

It may be harder, especially if you’re doing it by yourself and you don’t really know where to start. But it’s still possible, as healing goes beyond the physical into the deep layers which you’ve never explored or which you may never be even aware of. In conclusion, while no contact is beneficial, it is not the end of your journey but just a step for you to go inwards.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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