Do You Become the Problem When You Address a Concern in a Relationship?

Do You Become the Problem When You Address a Concern in a Relationship? do you become the problem when you address a concern in a relationship?
Photo by Santiago Lacarta on Unsplash

Today, I’ll be addressing a common theme in abusive relationships — the phenomenon of becoming the problem when you raise concerns or address issues within the relationship. In manipulative relationships, it’s often the case that when you genuinely try to address problems or express concerns about the relationship or about your partner, you end up being blamed and considered the source of the issue.

One of the key reasons behind this is a common characteristic of manipulative people– they rarely take responsibility for their own shortcomings or undesirable behavior. Instead of acknowledging and working on the issues raised, they deflect and shift the blame back onto the person expressing concern. This behavior is known as blame-shifting, and it allows them to avoid taking full responsibility for their actions.

Manipulative people are hesitant to change their ways and behavior, preferring to maintain the status quo and evade any accountability for their actions. Consequently, they use blame-shifting as a tactic to escape facing the consequences of their behavior. By doing so, they ensure that they never have to confront their own actions and maintain the illusion of being faultless.

In normal, healthy relationships, when concerns are raised, the focus is on addressing the specific issue, not on attacking the person who brings it up.

Sense of Superiority

Also, manipulative people view themselves as superior beings, believing they have no flaws and are above reproach. This inflated sense of superiority leads them to put themselves on a pedestal, considering their actions always right and perfect. This delusion is merely a way for them to cope with their deep insecurities, as they refuse to accept that they may have flaws or make mistakes.

Thus, whenever you raise a concern with a manipulative person, they shut it down and label you as the problem, as they firmly believe they can do no wrong. This tactic serves to protect their fragile self-image and avoid confronting any uncomfortable truths about themselves.

If you find yourself in a relationship where raising concerns results in becoming the problem, it is essential to recognize that you are likely in a manipulative and unhealthy relationship. Healthy relationships are built on open communication, understanding, and respect for boundaries. In such relationships, concerns are addressed constructively, without attacking the person expressing them.

Having healthy boundaries is crucial in protecting yourself from manipulative behavior. When you raise a genuine concern and the other person is unwilling to take responsibility for their actions, it does not mean you should accept blame for their behavior. By understanding and valuing your own worth, you prevent others from taking advantage of you.

To conclude, if you consistently encounter blame-shifting and becoming the problem whenever you express concerns, it’s a clear sign of a manipulative relationship. Remember, a healthy relationship encourages open dialogue and mutual respect, and it should never make you feel like the issue when addressing genuine concerns. Be mindful of your own well-being and seek support if you find yourself caught in such a relationship.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these subconscious patterns for good (in less than 2 months) using Mind Shifting, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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