Can You Find Love After Leaving in An Abusive Relationship, Or Are You Destroyed for Life?

Can You Find Love After Leaving in An Abusive Relationship, Or Are You Destroyed for Life? can you find love after leaving in an abusive relationship
Photo by Lukas Rychvalsky on Unsplash

Today, I want to answer this question: Can you still find love after being in a narcissistic relationship where someone treated you really badly? Or does it ruin your chances for good? It’s a pretty interesting question. When I say “love” here, I mean just finding someone to confide in or have a good relationship with.

You might feel like there’s no hope because you don’t trust anyone anymore. It’s like you believe everyone’s going to hurt you. You feel like you can’t trust men or women. You think you always end up with people who use you, and sometimes you even start thinking everyone is just mean. That’s what being in a toxic situation does to you. It makes you so negative that you can’t see anything good anymore.

Even when you see other people in good relationships, you might not see what’s healthy about it. Or even if you do, you might think, “That’s not going to happen for me.” But yes, it’s totally possible to find a good relationship after being in a bad one. And it’s not just about finding someone new. When people say they found love after a bad relationship, you might think you just need to find the perfect person.

You might think you need to make a list of what your perfect partner should be like and then try to find someone who matches it. Maybe you consider joining dating apps like Bumble or moving to a new place or changing the type of people you date. But if you’re just focused on finding someone new, you might miss out on a healthy relationship.

If all you’re doing after abuse is searching for a new partner to replace the old one, you might not find a healthy relationship. What’s important is to focus on yourself. You can still find love and a good relationship after abuse, but it starts with understanding yourself. That means knowing your fears, weaknesses, vulnerabilities, flaws, and the negative patterns you’ve learned. When you truly understand these things, you reach a level of acceptance and awareness that can lead to healthier relationships.

You come to realize that the problem wasn’t really about the other person — it was about not understanding how you deserve to be treated, or not seeing things clearly in your relationships. Now, as you develop a deeper relationship with yourself, you have the choice to pursue love or a healthy relationship or to stay single. But this isn’t driven by fear or trying to escape anymore. When you haven’t healed and you’re seeking a healthy relationship, it’s not really about love.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of seeking a new relationship as a way to escape or avoid facing the deeper issues and pain from the past. These unresolved issues can linger beneath the surface, driving you to seek solace in a new relationship. However, when you’ve truly worked on yourself and addressed those painful aspects, you won’t view a relationship as merely an escape. Instead, you’ll see it as an opportunity for genuine connection and growth, not as a means to run away from yourself.

Even though you’ll still go on dates and follow the usual steps, your approach will be different. It won’t be driven by fear anymore. Instead, you’ll approach dating from a place of self-understanding, knowing yourself deeply, and recognizing when something isn’t right. So, despite experiencing narcissistic abuse, you’re not doomed forever. While you might come across forums where people claim to be permanently damaged, it’s essential to remember that most forums are so full of bitter and cynical people and if you hang around with them for long, you will be forever stuck in victimhood.

Choose the emotionally challenging path for you, that is the path of facing your fears and even sometimes accepting that you can’t do it by yourself and seeking help through therapy or any other healing modality that suits you. You won’t be permanently damaged if you take action, focus on yourself, and take responsibility for your life now. If you keep dwelling on the narcissist and what others have done to you, it’ll only hold you back. But by concentrating on your own growth and taking small steps forward, you can emerge from this experience even more aware than before the abusive relationship.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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