Breaking Free: The Power of No Contact in Healing from Toxic Relationships

Breaking Free: The Power of No Contact in Healing from Toxic Relationships breaking free: the power of no contact in healing from toxic relationships
Photo by Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash

If you want to move on from a toxic relationship, then ‘No contact’ is probably your best bet. It is probably the hardest step when healing from toxic relationships. As the name suggests, it’s all about ‘NOT CONTACTING’ your toxic ex. This includes:

· No phone calls

· No text messages

· No visiting them

· No stalking

· No ‘accidentally’ bumping into them

· No contacting your ex’s friends or family

· No reminiscing on mementos & old photos

It is a foundational step, and as we know, the ending of a toxic relationship often leaves us in pain which is hard to cope with. This article will address why you need to go ‘No Contact’ as of today.

Firstly, going No Contact will enable you to move forward in your life. Without much information about what your toxic ex is up to or who their new catch is, you get the chance to explore endless possibilities and a life away from their manipulation. This newly-created space between you and them improves your mental clarity and enables you to enjoy life more while focusing on yourself. Without much external influence, you can start to reexamine your goals and create the life you deserve to live. It is the space where you’re in control of your present and your prospective future.

Secondly, it gives you the time and space to grieve and heal. As they say, “you cannot heal in the same environment which broke you.” When a relationship ends, it can feel like the end of the world with similar feelings as when we lose a loved one. Grieving is a normal process and it helps our brains to adjust to the new reality. Going No contact gives us the time and space to feel and release those negative emotions of loneliness, sadness, guilt, and anger. It is painful but making room for grief implies that it is both OK to feel all of these emotions and come to terms with what happened. Healthy grieving makes us remember the importance of our loss, and this will bring about a newfound sense of peace, rather than intense pain.

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Thirdly, Going No contact prevents you from demeaning yourself. The most common thing everyone does after separation from a toxic relationship is constantly checking on our Exes to see if they want us back or when we’re trying to get closure. This mostly happens when we’ve been discarded or ghosted, and we want answers which are not possible in an abusive relationship. We may find ourselves constantly checking our phones to see if they’ve texted back or calling them excessively as we beg them to take us back. This is so painful and leaves a huge dent in our self-esteem & self-confidence. Every time you do it, you end up with more feelings of regret and despair. It is not the best thing for your healing journey since you are being guided by your tainted emotions and you’re not thinking rationally. Oh! And No contact will also keep you away from the drunk texting and drunk calling. In short, no contact saves you from embarrassment.

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Lastly, No Contact prevents you from repeating the same cycle. We’re at most vulnerable after leaving a toxic relationship. The negative feelings of loneliness and sadness will either drive us towards going back to our Exes or jumping into a situationship (which 9/10 will be another toxic situation) as we can’t stand being alone. We may want to go back to our Exes, especially as we think about the grooming stage of the relationship when everything was a bed of roses.

It’s also worth noting that we’re still trauma-bonded, which is that feeling of being hooked/addicted to our Toxic partners. As Shahida Arabi notes in her book “Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare” — “No Contact or Low Contact is essential as it helps to wean off the effects of the oxytocin bond, which comes with cravings to reconnect with the narcissistic partner.”

The No Contact Rule, like most things, isn’t foolproof, but important nonetheless. The two main aspects of this rule are Time and Space, which offer you the opportunity to focus more on yourself, rather than on them. As we know, humans are creatures of habit, and so each day you add to your ‘No contact’ calendar is a step towards mastery.

In conclusion, by mastering No contact, you’re preparing yourself for the ultimate triumph as you seek to heal from toxic relationships. It is just the beginning of your journey of self-discovery as you strive towards reclaiming the life you deserve.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns (in less than 2 months) , then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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