Boundaries 101: Fear of Conflict is Choosing Inner Conflict

Boundaries 101: Fear of Conflict is Choosing Inner Conflict boundaries 101: fear of conflict is choosing inner conflict

One of the common fears associated with setting boundaries is the fear of rocking the boat. This fear arises because, if those close to you are accustomed to exploiting you, taking advantage, or viewing you as the one who’s always there for them, making a change can be daunting. You may have played the role of the “good” friend who consistently comes to the aid of others, lending them money or rescuing them from their own troubles.

While your intentions are ‘noble’, this behavior often leads to neglecting your own needs and giving more than you should. Now that you’re learning about the importance of boundaries, you want to reclaim your well-being. You want to prioritize yourself on a deeper level and start saying no, even to that cousin or brother who rarely repays their debts.*et9czc*_ga*MTkxNjcxMDU2NC4xNjg1MDA1MjYw*_ga_6LJN6D94N6*MTY5ODczNDU3OC4yMjQuMC4xNjk4NzM0NTc4LjAuMC4w

However, there’s one problem: you already know that it won’t end well. You know that it may lead to conflicts and disagreements, so you hesitate and withdraw, allowing them to continue as they please. This struggle to maintain your boundaries can feel like reverting to your default setting, which can further undermine your well-being.

When you choose to avoid outer conflict or disagreement which may results from you standing up for you, you’re choosing to continue harboring the inner conflict between the authentic you and your false identity. You are already in conflict deep inside when you cannot set and uphold healthy boundaries.

This conflict often takes the form of internalized bitterness, which is essentially a suppression of your genuine needs and feelings. You may find yourself experiencing sleepless nights as you reflect on how you have allowed others to walk all over you or do as they please without you asserting yourself. You have a deep understanding of what you want, but your fear is suppressing what is true to you. You are also harboring anger and resentment, both toward yourself and toward those people who cannot simply “stay away” and respect you. This unresolved inner conflict can be emotionally and mentally exhausting, taking a toll on your overall well-being and the quality of your relationships.

You constantly disrespect yourself when you ignore your needs and well-being. You choose an inner conflict, one that you either live with or one that leaves a lasting imprint on how you perceive yourself for the rest of your life. “No” is a very short, complete sentence, but the inability to say it is costing you a lot financially, emotionally, and mentally in your life. Just imagine how your life could be if you worked on the inner conflict by being true to your feelings and needs. By living your truth, you choose to live a conflict-free life on the inside, a life of peace and serenity. By pretending to want to maintain peace on the outside, you’re sacrificing your inner sense of peace. Inner peace is priceless.


In conclusion, you’re not truly avoiding conflict by ignoring or disregarding your boundaries; instead, you’re choosing inner conflict, creating turmoil within yourself. This inner conflict can eat away at you from the inside. The more you try to hide it, the more it manifests in your life through unhealthy relationships, remaining in toxic workplaces, or even manifesting in physical symptoms such as various autoimmune diseases. This inner conflict is similar to a disease that slowly consumes you, and it all begins with neglecting that simple word called “No.”

For those of you eager to explore the intricate world of boundaries, I have an exciting announcement: our Boundaries course has officially launched! In this course, we will dive deeper into the art of setting and maintaining healthy boundaries in real time. You can expect in-depth insights, practical strategies, and a comprehensive understanding of how to navigate the intricacies of boundaries. Click on the link, and let’s embark on this journey to empower you with the tools to foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships and a better quality of life.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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