Are You Really in A Healthy Relationship? Look In the Mirror First

Are You Really in A Healthy Relationship? Look In the Mirror First are you really in a healthy relationship? look in the mirror first
Photo by Oziel Gómez on Unsplash

We all want to find that perfect, loving relationship that makes us feel safe, secure and cherished. But how can you really know if your relationship is truly healthy? The answer may lie in looking at yourself first, not your partner.

Too often, people only start focusing on self-work and inner healing when they realize they are stuck in a toxic relationship cycle. Yes, being in a toxic relationship is really a harsh ‘wakeup call’ to work on yourself because you’ve witnessed firsthand how other people can exploit your good nature to satisfy their needs. That’s all okay but sometimes, we need to take a step back and start to really take a more preventive approaching which is doing inner work even when the relationship is healthy.

The truth is, you can never fully recognize whether your relationship is healthy or unhealthy until you understand yourself at the deepest level. It’s like trying to see the world clearly without ever cleaning the lenses on your glasses. If your perception is distorted from the start, how can you accurately judge what’s happening around you?

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Think about it — when people find themselves stuck in toxic situations, one of the most common refrains is “I didn’t know it was that bad” or “I had no idea how unhealthy our patterns were.” That’s because we’re often blinded from reality by our own unresolved wounds, unhealthy beliefs, and patterns hardwired into our psyche. Also, we’re often programmed to prioritize the collective “we” over the individual “I,” especially in relationships which leads to you neglecting your own needs in the process

Without doing the inner work to heal those blind spots within ourselves first, we simply don’t have an accurate lens to judge whether our relationship dynamics are truly serving us or not. We brush off red flags, make excuses for toxic behaviors, and settle for crumbs of fake intimacy — all because our past hurts have distorted our perception of what genuine connection and healthy bonds should look like.

True intimacy and connection can only blossom when both partners have a strong sense of self-worth, boundaries, and emotional clarity. And those qualities can only develop through deep introspection to remove the disempowering stories and beliefs that may be unconsciously sabotaging your relationships or making you settle for less or even worse a toxic relationship which you think is healthy.

So if your goal is to finally have a healthy relationship in your life, inner work should be the top priority — not just something you pursue after you’ve already found yourself in an unhealthy situation. By committing to better understand your fears, attachment styles, strengths and motivations first, you’ll clear away the dirt clouding your vision. Only then can you have the clarity and self-awareness to objectively see whether your relationship is truly serving your greatest good.

The journey of self-discovery can be difficult and painful at times as you peel back the layers. But would you rather live in denial, settling for a dysfunctional relationship? Or would you rather do the work now to know your worth, and attract a relationship that truly feels like coming home? The healthier you become within yourself, the healthier your relationships will become too.

So the next time you catch yourself wondering “Is this relationship actually good for me or not?” pause and look inwards first before judging your partner. You may find the answer was within you all along. Even when the relationship feels like a match made in heaven, take a break and look at yourself or look in the mirror.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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