Abusive Relationships: Why Can’t You Just Let Them Go?

Abusive Relationships: Why Can’t You Just Let Them Go? abusive relationships: why can’t you just let them go?
Photo by Tomas Tuma on Unsplash

Today I’ll be answering the question, “Why can’t you just let them go?” Yes, you understand that they’re abusive, and they did a lot of things to you, but you feel that you can’t just let them go. You try and try, attempting to block them, change countries, change states, or make various physical changes in your present life, but you just can’t let them go. You feel that they’re still there with you, and you’re even getting to the point where it feels impossible.

Actually, the main reason you can’t let them go is that you’re trying to do this logically. Logically, you want to; it’s like you feel that letting go is just sitting and saying, “Let me let go.” No, it doesn’t work that way. When things have been buried in the subconscious part of your mind, it takes going to the same subconscious part of your mind to let it go. You cannot will yourself to let go because to the mind, to the subconscious mind, it feels that the thing you want to let go of is a safe thing for you. It feels that way because it’s been a familiar pattern for you, a familiar route, a familiar but hurtful environment. To the mind, it doesn’t matter if it’s hurtful or not; as long as something is familiar, it is okay or safe. The mind knows that this is predictable, and at least you know what to expect, even if it’s an abusive relationship. It’s something known, unlike the unknowns of a different relationship.

When you’re used to a pattern in life, you can’t just break it like that. Yes, of course, you can break it by working on the subconscious part of the mind. But consciously, you know this person is harmful, yet healing is beyond your current level of awareness. It’s about bringing all those fears that are locked inside you to the surface — dealing with the root cause of the problem, which is not on the surface but deeper. When you’ve been caught in this loop of not being able to let go, that might be the point to seek help and work on those subconscious aspects you may not even be aware of.

You cannot really let go because letting go itself is not a conscious action; it’s a subconscious process of dealing with buried things, facing fears you’ve never faced, and letting go of negative emotions, sensations, and all those things you’ve picked up from the past. Once you do that, you’ll be able to have a choice in life. Without doing that, you’ll only have one choice, which is not a real choice — it’s simply holding on to them. So, it’s not about consciously letting them go; it’s about processing what’s buried deep within you and then letting things go. It’s about letting go of the baggage or the negative emotions that are still holding you to the past, it’s not about letting go of the individual.

Note from the Author

If you’re ready and you’d like my help with healing, finding peace in life and breaking free from these toxic patterns, then you can book a FREE BREAKTHROUGH CALL with me HERE. Happy healing 💙💙. Feel free to share and comment! Use this information with caution, it comes from my own thoughts & bias, experiences and research😊.

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Edwin Bii
Edwin Bii

I'm Edwin Bii, a trained advanced conversational hypnotherapist (ACH) and Mind Shifting Coach from Kenya offering mental health support, and life coaching to help you crush your goalsand overcome your problems. Together, we'll navigate challenges, build self-awareness, and create a happier, healthier you. Let's unlock your potential.

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